What am I thinking? Not much, actually. This turning off/shutting down works like a charm. Although, I wrote an email to my ex-girlfriend today; she was angry about some long blurb I wrote on her Facebook wall. I'd finished the email and read through it again which, mind you, is unusual because I never proof-read anything - I find I get bored after re-reading the first paragraph or so. But I made the effort this time to read through it - this was important, it was important that I got the message I wanted to get across, across. I was shocked and appauled by what I found, and each line I re-read cut deeper into my soul; etching away at its delecate form till it bled.
I had used the term 'I' so many times; a grave testament to my own selfishness - my own overbearing obsession with myself, my world, and my ego. I sent the self-obsessed brute of an email anyway, partly because I wanted her to know how I felt (which, in itself, is selfish), but mainly because I didn't know how to write anything else; I didn't know how not to be self-obsessed in my writing; how to not inject that into it. No matter how hard I tried to remove the 'I's', I couldn't - something inside me would interject and say "you want her to know how you feel; she has to know"...what nonsense!
I need to stop this...
I had used the term 'I' so many times; a grave testament to my own selfishness - my own overbearing obsession with myself, my world, and my ego. I sent the self-obsessed brute of an email anyway, partly because I wanted her to know how I felt (which, in itself, is selfish), but mainly because I didn't know how to write anything else; I didn't know how not to be self-obsessed in my writing; how to not inject that into it. No matter how hard I tried to remove the 'I's', I couldn't - something inside me would interject and say "you want her to know how you feel; she has to know"...what nonsense!
I need to stop this...
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