The Nature of Self-Absorption

...and as I sat in my own vomit, I realised that everyone must be looking at me through the walls. Why is he down there, they must have thought, and what must he have done to deserve such a fate?. My Self consumed me; I had to find an escape but couldn't move but a few inches towards the toilet only to find that the contents of my stomach would not relieve themselves of their prison, and my thoughts would stay locked within my mind for all time. I became deadlocked as I spiralled deeper into the abyss of my Ego where no-one, not even my closest friends, would follow me.

My mind was but one black dot of many on a deflated baloon. Upon its inflation, the dots would break apart from one another and go their separate ways. And each dot, in itself, would see its counterparts moving away and not realise that it too was moving. Each dot would be caught up in itself so as not to pay any attention to its movement or the movement of its counterparts, except to know that they were leaving it and becoming more and more distant. This is my nature. The nature of self-absorbtion.

And to solve this through constant pain I find is the only way forward. For pain is a healing force when it has passed, leaving no remnant of the internal struggle I face. Pain passed is truly revolutionary, and it is the uneven path I have now chosen; my stomach contents freed, my mind absolved.